“Teens are viloent, cold and unremorseful because their families neiborhoods and societyare violent. Teens care so little about others because so little care has been shown them(MacDonald 1A).” Many children today in society contain hate and bitterness, andbecause of this do they become a problem. Many argue that children become what theybecome because they make their own bed for themselves in life. I am in totaldisagreement with this theory. I stand by the fact that children become what they becomeaccording to their upbringing and the environment they were raised in. Parentsdetermine the life a child will lead. Parents are the most important factor in a child’s life. How they treat and act to their children will determine how they become morally andsociably to society. Divorce, lack of love, lack of discipline, and lack of attention are allfactors that support that parents determine how a child becomes. Parents are rolemodels, and raising their children together, with love, with discipline, and with lots ofattention is not only their job, but their responsibility as parents. Parents determine howtheir children become.
As the years go by, we see a higher and higher divorce rate. As this rate goes up,so does the crime rate. Couples today have forgotten the word commitment. As a resultof this, the children suffer. It is hard to grow up with separated parents. Most childrenbecome bitter or angry as they grow because of their divorced parents. In some cases theparents fight or argue which can affect a child, and may adapt the child to be moreaggressive. Also, when raising a child in a divorced atmosphere, what kind of lesson ishe/she learning? They will learn that a commitment is not a serious thing. That canaffect them when they go for a job, or get married. Since parents become role models totheir children, they must not lose sight of the fact that I do, means I do. A child needsboth parents to always be their, show love for each other, which that love reflects uponthe child. A child needs to around as much love as possible, but when he/she is raised ina divorced atmosphere, they lose that love that only two parents together can give them. “Love, the idea goes, is nature’s way of getting sexual partners to stay together longenough to produce and care for a child (Flanigan H05).” You can’t properly raise a childseparated. When couples make the commitment and have children, divorce is immoraland unjustifiably wrong. “I do” is a really strong phrase, life changing. Couples havetake time and realize how much of a commitment that is. Even though people saydivorce is inevitable in some relationships, those are the couples who need to realize notto bring a child into this world. Some say, “It was an accident”, BS. There are noaccidents when it comes to the subject of a child’s life. And causing pregnancy is areason to get married, but the risk of divorce for couples who marry for this reason is atthis time, is well over eighty percent. Divorce is wrong and cause a child to becomedepressed. And a depressed child is not a functioning child, psychologically. And anunfunctioning child is at risk of becoming psychologically unbalanced. This all can leadto drugs, alcoholism, or even abuse to themselves or to others. Then they have become achild that is immoral and a problem to society. All this from divorce, all this because ofparents, and an outcome of a problem child. “Children need both their parents(Raspberry A04).” “Love, we’ve heard is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise. It’s adisease which fills you with a desire to be desired (Flanigan H05).” Love must the basiswhen bringing up children. Love must be fulfilled by both parents and the child mustfeel loved. Only love can bring a child up to be moral and a great person in society. Achild without love will not grow up right. Love is an emotion, but also an importantvalue in a child’s life.Sue MacDonald of the Cincinnati Enquirer writes, “Unattachedchildren will likely become loners or seek the nurturing aspects and values of anothergroup, such as gangs (MacDonald 1A).” She goes on to quote that the capacity to carefor is really tied into how you were cared for. That falls back on the fact that childrenneed to be raised with lots of love in order to become a stable and moral person in thefuture to society. “Love is the basis of one’s conscience (me).” Without a conscience, achild can not learn right from wrong and learn from his/her mistakes. The amount oflove shown to a child by their parents, will determine the outcome of that child’s life. Discipline is a major factor in raising children. Discipline must be enough, butnot too drastic. That is something parents must determine and is one of the hardestdeterminations in parenting. Too much discipline can lead to the subject of child abuse,which that turns a child into a psychological wreck, but not enough will lead into a childthat will be irresponsible. Reason why the right enough discipline needs to be present isto teach a child values and responsibilities. Enough discipline must be present also toshow the child that no means no and that things in life don’t always go perfect. Discipline teaches a child a very important lesson, the lesson of life. But then someparents use modes of discipline that can lead to a very important issue, child abuse. Nothing a child has done should lead to the striking of the child. Though discipline isimportant, it must be controlled. There are many other forms of discipline ranging fromgrounding, to taking away luxuries. But when parents start taking away necessities orphysically strike a child, then it is considered a form of child abuse. An abused child willnot grow right emotionally or psychologically. They become adaptive to an abusingenvironment and think that that is how life is. They then will start abusing themselves,others, or even their own children. Then for many generations will this abuse go on inthat family. Parents and discipline will control the turnout of a child’s life. It will alsodetermine that child’s child’s life, and so on. “If children bond to a dysfunctional parents,the children usually repeat the mistakes or adopt the emotional pitfalls of their parents.
(MacDonald 1A).” It is so important to have a strong disciplinary format when raising achild, but that format must stray away from physical punishment, or abuse. It is muchresponsibility in finding the proper format of discipline when bringing up a child, andalso imperative to the child’s future.
Neglectence plays a big part in the reason why a child may grow to bepsychologically unbalanced, or become a “bad seed”. Divorce, lack of love, and lack ofdiscipline all define a neglected child. Neglectence is also considered to be a branch ofchild abuse. An abused child can not grow up right, no matter how much counseling orhelp, the abuse is always in their head and makes them naturally bitter. It is theresponsibility of two parents, to show the love and attention a child needs to function andgrow right. A child needs his/her “role models” to be there when they are needed to bethere and to give the love to a child, that that child needs. “Parent-child “bonding” is thefirst stage of caring . . . bonding is well established by age three (MacDonald A1).” When a child is neglected or bonding does not occur, children can suffer lifelongconsequences. In many cases, they may be unable to trust adults feelings – includingempathy and sympathy for others. They become a closed and bitter person. They knownot of the warmness of love, but of the coldness of neglectence. Parents need to be therewhen their kids get awards in school or have a game. The child needs to feel supportfrom both his/her’s parents. To be there for your kids is a responsibility in parenting. Achild must be happy and content, and most important, loved. If a child is neglected,he/she will not know how to love or why to love. Attention from both parents is mostimportant when brining up a child. If the parents are divorced, abusive, non discilpliary,or do not show love, then they have a neglected child. And a neglected child is bitter,dysfunctioal, and may become psychologically unbalanced. Parents must show childrenthe love and attention, because if they don’t, then they become responsible for theoutcome of the child. It is not the child’s fault, it is the parents. When all these issues are brought up, it can only be seen how influential parentsare in a child’s life. Children are adaptive to parents. They look at the parents and seewhat is right and what is wrong and what is acceptable. It is so true that if parentssmoke, then that child will smoke. Maybe not in all cases, but in a dominet percentile.
Any child that is improperly raised is going to become inproper. Parents must wake upand realize that the child’s problem is within hisher’s upbringing. Parents do determinethe outcome of a child whether it being of good or of bad. When a couple decides tohave a child or childeren, they must realize the responsibilities that go along with it. They must realize that when they have child, they become role models. How they act andraise their child will determine the child’s life. How that child turns out is totally theresponsibilty of that childs parents. Parents determine the life a child will lead.